Wednesday, May 21, 2008

What Matters Today

This thing has been boiling up inside of me for awhile. See, I work in an office. My main source of exercise is walking down the hall to the vending machine room to buy junk food. This room has a pop machine and a vending machine with candy, chips, gum, nuts and pastries. Whoever has filled this machine lately is messing with my lifestyle. The vending machine usually has 2 rows of assorted pastries like HoHos, Twinkies, Cup Cakes, Zingers and the like. Well now the person who fills the machine has 2 rows of strawberry Pop Tarts. I read somewhere that people who prefer strawberry over chocolate are psycho. I believe that! TWO ROWS. Maybe a couple of Pop Tarts in between the other stuff. But 2 full rows is outrageous. I am mad! He also has a whole row of candy bars with the picture of some car racer with a Hitler moustache. I keep walking back to the vending room to see if there is anything new. Just the same old stuff. I am getting physically tired from the strain. My knees hurt. My feet hurt. Will my employer's workers compensation policy cover this potential disability? I do not think so. I don't know what the point of this rant is but I am feeling better. Maybe I should buy a bunch of candy and pastries and put them in my desk drawer. The problem with that is that I would eat them all up and I will still need to go see what is in the vending machine. Life is full of problems and I have just identified another one. When I was in line for my morning espresso, Eddie who was in front of me mentioned to me that there are millions of undiagnosed mentally ill people out there. His wife is a therapist so he would know. We got to talking and I started telling him about my dream last night and then his coffee was ready. I was hoping he would tell his wife and she could tell him that I was either crazy or normal. Then he could tell me tomorrow. Well it is not gonna happen. I did not get a chance to relate my entire dream to him. I am jonesing for some junk food. I am going to take a little stroll to the vending machine and I pray to all that is holy in all the religions of the world that have ever been or will be that there are some Zingers in the machine.


Anonymous Dave said...

I feel your pain, Fred.

9:50 PM, May 21, 2008  
Blogger Fred Garber said...

Thanks Dave! Still no Zingers....

8:48 AM, May 22, 2008  
Blogger MB said...

I pray to all that is holy in all the religions of the world that have ever been or will be that there are some Zingers in the machine
What a line!

Still laughing!

3:39 PM, May 22, 2008  
Blogger Fred Garber said...

Thanks! Glad it made you laugh.

8:37 AM, May 23, 2008  
Blogger Patry Francis said...

Now I'm craving a Zinger--and I don't even know what they are. Love the rhythm of this post.

7:56 PM, June 03, 2008  
Blogger Fred Garber said...

Zingers come in various flavors. They are shaped like a Twinkie. The ones that I like the best have chocolate cake with a cream filling and chocolate frosting. Thanks Patry!!!

11:09 AM, June 04, 2008  

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