Flat Tire for the Yellow Car
the Yellow Car that was not yellow,
I came out of my apartment.
I needed to start my car.
It was a cold morning.
I was running late.
I found a note on the windshield.
It was under the wiperblade.
The note said " I seen somebody cut your tire last night.
They live in that big white house with the sofa on the porch."
The note was not signed.
An anonymous tip from the neighborhood snitch.
I walked around my 1984 Chevrolet Caprice.
The right front tire was flat.
Damn, I am going to be late to work, I thought.
I went back into my apartment.
I called Virgil's gas station.
They sent somebody right over.
They are only 3 blocks away.
They took my tire and rim with them.
I rode with them.
They dropped me at the Pierce Street Coffee Works.
I drank my morning espresso
while Virgil put a new tire on my rim.
Well it was not a new tire.
They are really expensive.
He sold me a used one for ten dollars.
So, I got a ride back to my car
and they put the tire back on.
It was then that I noticed that every car on the block
had flat tires.
They got to Jack's car. Retired gas company worker.
They got to Larry's car. Retired astrologer.
They got to Emma's car. Waitress at the casino.
They got to that big buick that has not moved for three months.
They got to all the cars.
I went to work.
Only ten minutes late.
I told them what happened.
Not a problem.
I called the cops.
I did not tell them about the note.
They said that they would check it out when they had time.
They said that at most the tire slasher would be fined fifty bucks.
After work I went to that big white house with the sofa on the porch.
Some kid answered the door. Maybe twelve years old.
He was the cousin of Scooby, one of the guys that lives there.
I asked for Scooby.
Scooby came to the door.
He was wearing his cholo clothes.
Real tough guy.
I told him about the tires.
I told him that somebody had seen him do it.
He said somebody cut his tires last month.
I asked him if he thought that I did it.
Or if Jack did it.
Or if Larry did it.
Or if Emma did it.
I told him we all live in this part of town because we have no money.
I told him if he wants to cut tires,
he should go a mile north where the rich people live.
I told him that he has been shitting in his own nest.
And that he has to stop.
He has to stop disrespecting the people.
I said that the cops won't come for him.
But that the people in the neighborhood would.
Scooby was looking a little uncomfortable.
Hey, Scooby moved.
There has been no more tire slashing around here.
I have moved.
Jack moved to another place down the street.
Larry is in a nursing home.
I don't know where Emma is.
The big Buick got towed away.