How to Make A Fruit Salad

To make a fruit salad you have to have fruit.
The best places to get fruit are from orchards and farms.
Fruit grows on trees, bushes and little plants that come out of the dirt.
Fruit also grows in the wild places.
Like forests and by the side of the road.
Don't pick any old berry.
Some of them are poisonous.
Stolen fruit is always sweeter.
But do not get caught.

Most fruit salad makers rely on grocery stores and farmer's markets.
They will have a good selection and you can even get fruit that has been harvested in foriegn countries.
You can steal fruit from the supermarkets.
I would only advise stealing a grape or two.
Do not try putting ripe fruit in your pockets.

In this recipe I am assuming that you are making this salad for a lot of people.
So you will need a lot of fruit.
Here is what you should have.
Red crunchy red apples. Red Delicious
Green apples. Maybe Granny Smith.
Ripe pears. I like Anjou pears the best.
Bananas. Yellow.
Red and green grapes.
Cherries.
Blueberries.
Musk melon.
Honey dew melon.
Watermelon.
Oranges.
Blood oranges.
Plums.
Mangoes.
Pineapple.
Avocadoes.
Papaya.
Red ripe roma tomatoes.
Limes and lemons for the dressing.
Dried fruit like raisins, dates,cranberries and figs.

Now find a big bowl.
Why don't you use that big white one on the top shelf.

Wash all of the fruit.
Squeeze the juice out of the limes and lemons.
Set the juice aside.
Now cut up all of the fruit into bite size chunks.
A bite size is what you can fit into an open mouth.
For people with fat mouths the pieces can be bigger.
For small mouths you need smaller pieces.
Remove the seeds and pits.
Cut the cherries and grapes in half.
The roma tomatoes should be diced finely.

Put all of the fruit in the big white bowl.
Pour the lemon and lime juice on it.
Stir the fruit.

Now add some chopped nuts.
Walnuts, almonds, filberts and pecans.
Any combination will do.
Please do not use peanuts.
Uncle Larry has an alergy to peanuts.
And you may or may not be in his will.

Now drizzel some honey onto the fruit.
Use a lot.
Next put some spices on top of the fruit.
They should be ground up.
Use cinnamon bark, cardoman pods, cloves, ginger root and coriander seeds.
Coriander is another name for cilantro.
Not to be confused with culantro, that long herb used in Vietnam and other places.
Put lots of these spices on top of the fruit.
You cannot use too much.
Do not be cheap here.
After all this is for your stomach and the stomach of others.
Then put some ground chile powder on top.
Maybe a teaspoon full.
I am not talking about that spice mixture that is used to flavor soup, but whole chiles that have been ground up.
Next a little sea salt and freshly ground pepper.
Stir this all up making sure the honey and spices are spread all thru the fruit and nuts.

Now cover the salad and let it chill in the fridge.
This will give all the flavors a chance to get acquainted.

Before you serve the salad stir it one more time.
Now you eat the salad.
Eat a lot of it.
At the bottom of the bowl will be a lot of juice.
Pour it out and drink it.

You can use whatever combination of fruit and nuts you like.
If you have some fresh mint, chop it up and add it to the salad.
If you like wine or rum, put some in.
Plain yogurt can be added if you want the dressing to be a little creamy.
Do not put chicken broth or anchovy paste in this fruit salad.
You can however add a little unsweetened chocolate powder when you are adding the spices.

A good fruit salad is a welcome addition to any feast be it a wake, wedding or just watching the saturday night fights on TV.

You can even forget about sharing it.
Make the salad, buy a rotisserie chicken, a loaf of french bread and a bottle of wine.
Put everything on the TV table, get out the remote control and watch the fights.