When I was in Cincinnati
"When I was in Cincinnati I was a river boat gambler. No, maybe I was the captain of the boat. No, I was a gambler. It was sometime after the War Between the States in which I had served as a profiteer. With my gains I bought a BMW dealership in Queens. Later the bank took it over. I really do not recall why they did it.I had a pair of pearl-handled Deringers. One was up my right sleeve and the other was in my waistcoat. I always wore a white ruffled shirt. I had a big moustache which the ladies loved. My smoke of choice was a Phillies cheroot. My lighter was a little plastic Bic from the Safeway supermarket. It was a block from the docks. I liked to sit with my back to the wall when I was playing cards. You never knew when some sucker, that I had previously relieved of his money, would walk in to the bar. I never felt guilty about taking the sucker's money. They probably deserved it. Probably stole it from some widow lady.I was like Robin Hood except I did not give the money away to the poor. Now, I did spread the wealth around. I was a big tipper. Just ask the ladies who worked the boat. There was this redhead. Her name was Flora. I think they wrote a song about her. It was called "The Lily of the West". Nobody ever caught me cheating at cards. At least they could never prove it. My last memory was being thrown overboard on a dark night. The water was not too cold."