Skinny Guy in a Sharkskin Suit

We were driving down Hamilton.
We were in the green car.
Heading to the Horrorzone Cafe.
Thinking of pancakes.

Slowed down for the railroad tracks.
Looked to the right.
Looked to the left.
Again to the left.

Those tracks run straight.
Straight in both directions.
Going into the cottonwoods.
Silver green softwood giants.

Over on the left side.
Right by the tracks.
Skinny guy in a sharkskin suit.
Skinny guy under a black hat.

Pacing back and forth.
Aura of misfiring synapses.
Looking in all directions.
Seeing nothing.

Out of place.
Not Dallas.
Out of time.
Not 1963.

Waiting to hop a freight train.
Back to his conspiracies.
Back to his footnotes.
Back to the Starlight Lounge.

We were driving down Hamilton.
We were in the green car.
Heading to the Horrorzone Cafe.
Thinking of pancakes.

Oral History Project: Bertha Smith part 4

Zack : Did you ever wait on anybody famous?

Bertha: Hmm. Let me think.

Zack: Take your time.

Bertha: Hey can I have another cig?

Zack: Sure.

Bertha: Thanks. This county home won't let you smoke.

Zack: So, did you think of any famous people that you might have waited on?

Bertha: Well there are few.

Zack: Who?

Bertha: Well there was Lewis and Clark.

Zack: Tell me about them.

Bertha: It was a big party. They called ahead for reservations. Reserved three tables in the backroom. Judy and I handled it all.

Zack : What did they order?

Bertha: Lewis ordered liver and onions. And an ice tea ...no lemon. He loved the matzo ball soup. Clark was the last to order. Could not make up his mind. He finally settled on the rueben sandwich. Water with a slice of lemon.

Zack: Did they have dessert?

Bertha: Yes. Everybody ordered the hot fudge sundae. We are famous for that, you know.

Zack: Were they good tippers?

Bertha: Because it was such a big group the manager put a 15% gratuity right on the bill. Paid with a credit card.

Zack:Do you have any momentos of that meal?

Bertha: Well somebody had a Polaroid camera and took this picture(she pulls out a grainy wrinkled foto) of me and the boys.

Zack: Which restaurant were you working at when you waited on them?

Bertha: Let me think. How about another smoke?

Zack: Ok.

Bertha: Thanks!

Zack: No problem.

Bertha: I think it was the Ye Olde Tavern Inn. No, it was Harry's Cafe on 4th street. Back when 4th street was the place to be. Wait it was the Green Gables. They still have those hot fudge sundaes.

Zack: Thanks again Bertha! Can we talk again next week.

Bertha: Sure. But be sure to bring some smokes!

Nature Poem and Spring Sacrifice Poem

Boys, boys, boys.
Girls, girls, girls.
Come here and see some nature.
It is coming out of the ground.

We got grass.
We got weeds.
We got dandelions.
We got some kind of berry.

All coming up thru dead leaves.
Brown and moldy.
All coming up thru old newspapers.
Grey and moldy.

Look up in the trees.
Those round things are buds.
Leaves will come out of them.
The trees will be green.

These signs show that the Spring Sacrifices went well.
So many this year.
There were the regular ones.
Good Friday.
Passover.

Always some surprises.
Blood for blood.
Bone for bone.
Rock for rock.
Bomb for bomb.

But the sacrifices went well.
The blood flowed.
More than was expected.
The tally is not final.
The bookies WILL pay off.

That is how this thing works.round calendar.tongue
Spring Blood Sacrifice Fertilize.kill
Summer Heat Work Growth.forget
Fall Full Fat Harvest.rape
Winter Sleep Deep Dream.birth

Jump off. Stay on
Run off. Sit down.

Several known variants have been described in great detail.
See Veda.Tao.Oral.Secret.Book.Catalog.Cave.

Boys, boys, boys.
Girls, girls, girls.
Go over to the taco truck.
Today it is my treat.
Tomorrow you pay.

Eddie T. and His Foot

I gotta tell you this story. It's about a guy from the old neighborhood. It was during one of those post colonial economic sphere of dominion wars. Or maybe it was one of those anti-domino wars. Anyway it was a long time ago.Some people liked the war. Some people didn't. Most people didn't think about it much.

Back then, if you were not in school, if you were not disabled, or if you were not from a rich family, the Army would send you a letter. It was a letter saying that you had been chosen to serve the homeland. You were ordered to have a physical examination at a military post. If you passed the exam you would get free room and board for the next few years.

Well this kid from down the street gets one of those letters. I am going to call him Eddie T. That is not his real name. I don't want him or anybody else complaining that I did not tell this story right. I also don't want to give any interviews to any investigators. All the other names in this story are fake names. They are not even close so don't try to guess who the people are. But I can tell you that this story is almost all true.

So Eddie T. gets this letter. He hates the war. He is telling everybody that he is not gonna go. No way. Hell is gonna freeze over first. The Army can kiss his ass. He is just going to stay home and hang out with his friends.

As the day approaches, that he is to report for his physical exam, Eddie T. is getting more agitated and nervous. He is acting crazy. Drinking too much. Driving too fast. Getting in fights. Everyday he is engaged in more and more anti-societal activities. A lot of non-normantive behaviour. He is becoming a danger to himself and the neighborhood. The guys tell him to settle down. To chill out. He is getting a lot of advice. His priest tells him to pray. Some doctor offers to write a letter to the army saying that he is nuts and has some kind of rare disease. His uncle Cheese tells him to to stop being a baby and just go to the Army. So, Eddie T. is freaking out.

On the Saturday before he has to go, they have this party for him. It was out in the country. In an abandonded farmhouse. People and pigs use to live there. Now nobody does. Great place for a party. Lots of beer, some smoke and a few girls. A couple of beers into the party Eddie T. asks Rat for his gun. Rat is also a fake name but is an accurate discription of this guy. Rat always carried a little 22 automatic. Eddie T. says that he just wants to do a little plinking. You know....shoot some empty beer cans. Rat hands him the 22. Eddie T. points the 22 at his right foot. Then he proceeds to shoot himself in his own damn foot. Eddie T. screams. The girls scream. The guys are yelling at Eddie T. Calling him all manner of fowl names. Eddie T. says he just flunked his Army physical. He is not going to have to go into the Army. A couple of the guys dump him off at the hospital. He tells the doc that it was an accident. They x-ray his foot. The doc tells Eddie T. that he is lucky. Eddie T. says that he knows that. No says the doc. The 22 bullet did not break any bones. His foot will be fine. Eddie T. pukes right there on the docs brown wingtip shoes.

Eddie T. goes to the Army physical. They tell him not to worry about the foot. They will take him anyway.

Eddie T. ends up at a base near the border. He never does have to go to the war. They let him out early because of some mental problem. He won't talk about it. He just smiles. Eddie T. comes home to the old neighborhood and works for his uncle Cheese.

That was a long time ago.